Recombinant DNA?

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By Linda | March 18, 2008

Yesterday’s post, Sci-Fi Movie Survival Tips, touches on a recurrent theme in sci-fi movies; the manipulation of genetic materials. In the realm of science fiction, tinkering with nature inevitably leads to disaster. Africanized “Killer” Bees demonstrate that this is sometimes true in the real world as well.

Some of the genetic combinations proposed in science fiction movies seem quite absurd indeed. One fails to comprehend just what a genetic engineer might hope to gain by blending the DNA of a shark with that of his dead son, Paul - yet that is precisely the premise of “Hammerhead: Shark Frenzy“. The disturbed scientist even goes so far as to set up a blind date between the Paul/Shark and Paul’s grieving fiance. Not surprisingly, the “date” doesn’t go well.

In Frankenfish, genetically engineered Chinese Snakeheads wreak havoc in a Louisiana swamp. A wealthy sport fisherman has the dandy idea to fund the creation of the ultimate game fish through (you guessed it) genetic engineering. For my money, an all expenses paid Marlin fishing excursion in Australia would have been a better choice.

All of these “Mix ’N Match” DNA storylines inspired me to think up a few new genetic combinations of my own! Unlike most of the movies, I even cite my well-thought-out intended results along with the inevitably unfortunate outcomes.

DNA Combination: Cow + Jellyfish

Intended Result: A super milk producer that can be farmed in the open ocean and survive on plankton

Unfortunate Outcome: A seagoing stinging udder with horns

DNA Combination: Snail + Garlic Plant + Walrus

Intended Result: An extra large, self-seasoning escargot

Unfortunate Outcome: A giant, foul smelling green slug with tusks and a Brooklyn accent

DNA Combination: German Shepherd + Earthworm

Intended Result: A loyal creature that guards your property while at the same time core aereating the lawn and improving the soil

Unfortunate Outcome: a giant hairy worm that antagonizes the mailman, sheds and chews up your favorite slippers

DNA Combinantion: Tuna Fish + Chameleon

Intended Result: A tasty and nutritious “designer” food fish that changes color to match your dinnerware

Unfortunate Outcome: A canned food item that remains hidden in your pantry until it’s freshness date has expired